Back to complaining :)

I don't think there is a SINGLE piece/part of me that is the same. Seriously. Even my face has gotten fat in the last week. People tell me I look good, but hey, they are the ones that never saw me BEFORE I was pregnant. SO they have no idea...

And I'm serious, from my head to my toes, everything is bloated and HUGE. From my nails: that rip and crack and tear because they are so weak (whoever said that pregnant women have good hair and nails? BAH!) My body shape, OBVIOUSLY is unrecognizable. My thighs are at least 2ce the size they once were, as is my Butt. My well defined veins/muscles in my feet and legs are no longer, it's just bloated fat flesh. My bellybutton? what is that? well... it has actually proven quite entertaining this past week. Most of the pregnancy, it just squished out to this tiny flat slit that looked quite funny... as it was all stretched out, but small to begin with. In the last week, it's been "prairie doggin' it" (A line from Rat Race, with a different connotation.) All throughout the day, I find myself pulling up my shirt to see the current state of it. All of a sudden, it will appear, and have somewhat of an almost indent. Next thing you know, it's popped out like a turkey thermometer in a tiny little mountain of wrinkles that move funky when I breathe. It is constantly changing, from basically gone, to popped out. I guess it's because Kaleb keeps moving around, and he must be playing with it from the inside...

Sat night I started having the braxton Hicks contractions, which kept on going pretty strong through Sun afternoon. Premature labor I suppose, as OBVIOUSLY I am still pregnant. I was getting psyched, ready to pop this sucker out. Then, after it didn't happen, reality started hitting, and I started getting scared again. Started thinking I don't want to be a parent. Can we turn this all around now? :) I know it's too late, and basically, I just have to get over my fear.

Larry was super sweet today, and between the 2 of us, we composed a list of over 70 reasons why we should be excited for Kaleb to be born. Larry is trying to help me find that part of me that wanted to be a parent, because as soon as I find it, I'm going to be ready to get this baby out of me again. :) Kaleb keeps dropping and coming back up (just like my belly button) so obviously it's related to my psyche. If I could just get back on track, I'll get this ordeal over with!!! :)

The PRINTABLE, SHARABLE items we came up with are as follows:

1. no more nausea
2. ability to exercise again
3. no desire to constantly eat to stop the nausea
4. the feeling of love as we hold him!
5. playing with our baby and seeing him smile. :)
6. Parenting joy we are told we'll have
7. Jokes and humor around bodily functions (as if we haven't started, only now it will be the baby, and not pregnant mamma)
8. ability to bend and sit without making loud groaning sounds
9. less nasal issues and bloody noses
10. once he's here, we can figure out what we still need and get more organized (is that wishful thinking?)
11. I might actually get some more sleep! if I'm different from the majority that is!
12. happiness in watching our son grow
13. fun playing games with him
14. enjoyment in doing stupid little silly things that he thinks are hilarious
15. meet more parents/friends to interact with, with an easy opening, as kids always make it easy to start a conversation
16. I'll finally be able to get the bathroom turned into Kaleb's bathroom :)
17. new media to enjoy (all those lovely kid movies!)
18. joy/fascination as they enjoy new things, watching their awe
19. playing sports with Kaleb!!
20. going trick or treating with him
21. feeling the excitement of Christmas again through his excitement
22. wanting grand kids to spoil, and Kaleb is the means to an end... :)
23. we'll be healthier because we'll have to eat our vegies with kaleb
24. playing video games
25. doing funny dances
26. giving high fives
27. feeling the love for our son and each other swell inside of me!
28. Watching our boy pass the sacrament
29. teaching him how to tie his shoes
30. Taking him to his first football game
31. standing alongside his crib and thinkin"awwwh, what a cute baby"
32. having him hold onto my finger with his little hands
33. marveling at the God's power and the gift of life
34. appreciating my wife more and more every day for all she does for me and Kaleb (yeah, I didn't write that one) :)
35. Hearing him say I LOVE MOMMY!!!
36. Hearing him say I LOVE DADDY
37. Watching him learn new things, like playing the piano or whatever music he likes
38. Seeing what talents he picks up and arguing who he got them from. :)
39. Watching him treat others nicely, sharing, loving and how it makes your heart swell
40. Watching his testimony grow, as hopefully we will be good examples and teachers about Christ
41. The innocence that comes from a young child/baby that reminds you of God and what is good
42. dressing him in those cute baby clothes (Larry came up with that one, believe it or not!)
43. feeling proud of him as he becomes a righteous man
44. teaching him to Love God
45. focusing on him rather than on myself (another good larryism)
46. taking him swinging in the park (get your mind out of the gutter!)
47. going to the water park with our family
48. going on hikes and bike riding as a family
49. family home evening!! lessons, games, and DESSERT! :)
50. piano lessons
51. watching him play with the cats and torment Tango ;)
52. feeling his joy and excitement for life
53. playing catch with him
54. Seeing how much you love him, and what a great mom you are!! (again, how sweet is larry?)
55. Hearing you say I forget how difficult my pregnancy was... (now that was a big time joke by larry!)
56. singing and hopefully watching him love music (and not just 80's like his daddy...)
57. learning how to be better parents than mine were, even if I make mistakes along the way
58. Growing spiritually due to love/concern for our son
59. Watching larry be a daddy
60. DDR!!!
61. learning patience (I'm a little afraid to say that). ;)
62. getting ice cream after school
63. school plays
64. Loving Kaleb's MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Did I marry a sweet guy or what?)
65. btw, the 80's were the BEST!!! so... teaching Kaleb that the Celestial Kingdom will be an eternal 80's....... (and that he has a funky sense of humor?)
66. Watching daddy and kaleb play with each other, eat ice cream together, exercise together
67. eating mac n cheese while daddy decides he'd rather eat spinach as a good example
68. Eating lots of Mommy's GOOD COOKING! :)
69. Teaching Kaleb how to cook (if that's me, it'll be how to pour a bowl of cereal) -- guess who said that one?
70. Rooting for the Redskins
71. Jumping on the Trampoline at Grandmas
72. Seeing Ginny's excitement!!
73. Witnessing his marriage!!
74. Grandchildren!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
75. Teaching him to respect nature and animals which God created.
76. he could be used as baby Jesus in a family nativity next year! :)
77. learning from his innocence and sweetness