Pregnancy Woes

I have felt like the most obnoxious, pessimistic whiner since being pregnant. It's been a difficult pregnancy, and the symptom list is over a mile long. The worst thing, has been my whining attitude. People tell me I haven't been a whiner, and Larry tells me what a trooper I've been, but even if I don't VERBALIZE my whining, I've been saying it in my head, which is bad enough. I'm HOPING that once the baby is born, and I have a semblance of my body back, and can work on getting it back... my attitude will change, but I know that is VERY hopeful from what mom's tell me to expect with being a new mother. :)

So, just for kicks, I'm going to give just a SMALL list of my pregnancy symptoms, and then actually move on to something positive! :) Surprisingly, I do have something positive to say today. :) I know no one reads this, so this is basically for my own record to REMIND myself (people keep telling me that you forget how bad it was, and decide to do it again, so this is a safeguard I'm putting in place... I want to remember, so I NEVER have to do this again!!!!!)

Hummm... let's see. Skip this paragraph (however long it might end up if you actually are reading this and don't want to hear about pregnancy woes). I'll start off with the nausea, and constant throwing up. Since day one, and unfortunately, until the bitter end. :) I'm on Zofran to ease up on the amount of upchucking I do, but I still do it. And have resorted to only brushing my teeth in the shower and need to mentally side track myself to avoid more than just the gagging motions. Then there is the constant pretty severe headaches, and constant nosebleeds. The almost passing out and dizzy feeling I get constantly, especially if I do anything exercisy or go up stairs (and my new place is full of stairs!!!). Here I was an exercise freak, and before I even knew I was pregnant, I almost fell off my elliptical and have been unable to sustain any real exercise other than walking since... And boy have I put on extra pounds! So far, I've gained 48 pounds! and I know that is not all baby... I'm going to have a time of it getting that weight off! Then, there is the anemia, the severe edema. I had to educate Larry on what Cankles were, and he now knows. All I had to do was show him my legs and balloon looking feet with no ankles and he learned something new. :) And of course the nightly charlie horses. Mostly in my legs, but I discovered they can also happen in your butt!!! Then, there is the SEVERE insomnia. I had it before I was pregnant, but being a stomach sleeper and not being able to be on your stomach basically means I get NO sleep, instead of a little sleep. :) But, the worst part is the back. My back DOES NOT LIKE to be lying down or sitting. Severe sharp pains run through me, and movement while laying down or sitting is excruciating. But what do we do most of the day? we sit at work, and we sit in our cars commuting, and we lay down to sleep. SO, after sitting or lying down, it takes me a while of slow waddling and easing into something new to get out of extreme pain. The docs say that after physical therapy and chiropractors, there isn't really anything more to be done for it (except HAVE THIS BABY!) Well, moving along... there is the waddling, the fact that NONE of my clothes or shoes or coats fit me. The extreme sensitivity to smell, which is not a good thing in our house full of nasty smells, carpets needing replacing that we can't afford to do. I walk into our bedroom, and every single time, I almost barf, and try to plug my nose, as we think the previous owners had their dog sleep right there and he probably urinated so much it soaked into the pad... that's our theory anyway. Oh, and I can't forget the constant hiccuping and funky nausea burps that abound... and how FAT I have become! Seriously!!!

SO, enough of that. I could go on and on, but something has to stop me, right? :) Some of the lovely things that have come of all the above symptoms is that Larry is now open to adopting our next one. Prior to seeing me pregnant, he wasn't so keen on the idea, especially the money part. Now after seeing my suffering, he is so sweet and kind hearted, he doesn't want to see me have to go through this again, and has become open to adoption. YEAH!!!! And Larry really has been sweet to me, however he knows how. It's hard for him to see me in pain, so when he notices, he wants to do whatever he can to take the pain away. Sometimes at night, he'll get up to try and help me re-adjust pillows or get up to go on my many trips to the bathroom. He has taken over the cat litter, despite hating it with such a passion! He does his best to protect me and keep me from lifting and such. But he really has been a sweetheart to me through all this. He's done things he wouldn't just to try and make me happy... like spending money on multiple shower heads, as we try to find the right one, or even consider learning how to cook a few things, so I don't always have to!!!

Currently we are both sick. He has bronchitis, and I have something pretty similar. After 6 days of sore throat progressively getting worse, in addition to the congestion and coughing, I finally have a doc appt this afternoon to find out if I have something pretty bad going on myself. Normally I would feel stupid going to a doc for a stupid cold, but being 8 1/2 months pregnant, and knowing I need to be healthy to give birth... I have to do something! Being pregnant is hard enough, and add on this nasty cold thingie I got!

So, here come the positive things I have to write about... FINALLY. :) I switched OB practices... AGAIN last week. Yeah, last minute switching, and the new place I go is quite the drive (Loudoun County). But finally, I am VERY happy with the practice. It's not your typical practice (of course, if you know me!). It's a practice of 4 midwives, and 5 OBGYNs that step in for emergencies and consultations. They are a good match for me and what I was looking for. It's nice to finally find a good fit! Now if we could just find a family doc and a pediatrician that are a good fit! :) But anyhoo... It finally feels right. I was beginning to have pretty severe dread about the practice I was last with. One of the 3 docs there was great, and I really liked her a lot, and she supported natural childbirth. But I had a 33% chance of having her deliver our baby. Not the kind of odds you want to take with something so important. The others were pretty much set on doing a C-Section, as that is quick and easy (FOR THEM!!!!) and not because there were any complications, but because that's all they pretty much do. Being immune to pain killers and anesthesia, a c-section for no good reason would be more than quick and easy for ME! If I can avoid that, then I plan on it. And this new practice I am with, will totally support that, even in a hospital setting. So, I'm much happier with our birth plan/team now that I've switched, and today when I left the appointment, I just felt happy and so glad that I really like them. YEAH! AGAIN! :)

Another positive I've noticed recently, is that there are some really sweet people in the area we moved to. Complete strangers, but all so sweet! For instance, in my church, there are a bunch of new moms. I don't really know anyone yet, but one of them called me and asked if she and another one (whom I've never even met or talked to) could throw me a baby shower. I was flabbergasted amazed! How sweet! I'm new, they don't know me, but want to make the effort and throw me a shower! I feel grateful for such kindness! And shortly after that, 3 other ladies asked if anyone was throwing a shower, because they would too! Talk about wonderful people! And that isn't the only example! I went to a stake conference last week (in our church, it's where several congregations come together for quarterly meetings) and met this lady who was super friendly, 40, just had twins who are now 9 months old. I liked her, but we didn't even exchange names. Apparently, after I left, she realized that she could give me a bunch of her baby stuff she wasn't using anymore, so through her bishop, had him track me down, and called me this week offering to get some clothes and other baby things! Totally amazing to me how kind strangers are being, and how sweet people can be! I think I get so used to the opposite in my line of work, I forget that there really are sweet and generous people out there, and they don't even need a reason to be so kind! I'm very grateful for that, and happy to be the recipient of things at this time! And I've met someone I want to become more like too... She is a mother of 4, but still hip, sexy, social, and from what I can tell, super duper cool. I don't think I'll be like her until I change this nasty attitude I've developed during this pregnancy, but just knowing her may help remind me that it is possible to overcome, and still find a way to be myself. :) At least in a month or so... LOL.